I don’t know about you, but the last few weeks have been full of mental fog in terms of personal direction and desire. I am typically not greatly affected by a Mercury Retrograde, as it is a time I get to go within and create, however this Piscean journey of inward and mystical messages had me all turned around and distracted. I don’t think I have ever felt a Mercury Retrograde quite like this one, and even still, I am sorting out exactly what transpired.
Last month, many of us experienced rather abrupt changes, both enlightening and painful, that helped us to snap out of old traditions and beliefs surrounding our self image. In doing so, we were given the chance to address some wounds about the way we embrace who we are and reevaluate what is important to us in our Now instead of clinging to things from our past that may not bring us the joy they once did. This was a divine move from the Cosmos to set us up for the work April is offering.
I had been reviewing my beliefs about family and inherited wounds, especially through the unique connection of matriarchal genetics. I was tracing back patterns of my own through my mother, and grandmother. There were things I could see we all struggled with and I couldn’t help but think of the impression a woman’s life experience has on a growing child within her womb, and the science of the words shared in this image:
It made me think of our responsibility as women to heal the cycle of trauma/wounds/limiting thought patterns for the sake of the generation that grows within us. We, as the nurturers of the future, possess such an incredible ability to heal, alter, and evolve the future WITHIN us.
I found it profound that as I wrapped a lot of spiritual healing in this line of thought, my grandmother (mom’s mom) died unexpectedly. The ripple of shock powerfully and instantly shifted the family dynamic within my immediate members, bringing us together when we are generally a family of natural loners. It reminded me of the environment I grew up in as a child, and the struggle it’s presented as an adult who seeks to be different in the role of motherhood. It’s taken a little time to embrace my own expression as a mother over how I thought I should be. But with my grandmother’s passing, so much came to clarity and understanding and I couldn’t help but wonder if with her death came inherited release and healing. For length’s sake, I won’t get into all the ways this unfolded through March, but come to the point I want to make to bring us into April. After such a shocking and rapid period of healing and evolving, I was left in the realization that I was a totally new person with a new life. Not physically maybe, but energetically. I had a completely new perspective on my reality, and myself, and the direction I wished to go. But I really wasn’t (and am still not) sure what that meant in terms of pursuing my joy, because that had changed too. I realized I had to stop operating out of habitual joy because it was making me look over my shoulder, yearning for things simply because they were once something I enjoyed. Doing so made me feel tired, frustrated, and unenthusiastic. Maybe you are in a similar state of confusion and wonder. Fortunately, April will bring us the chance to explore and renovate our passions so they align with our current Self. Direction and goals will be illuminated and a new journey can be given movement, something I think we are all desiring in the astrological new year, with the vibration of fiery Aries emanating from the Sun.
Lets review my annual reading for April as I think it’s vital to combine the message with the deeper reading I’ve just completed:
“There will be a chance to take a close up look at the way your goals and desires align (or not) with your authentic Self. This month offers a first chance to unify your physical world with the spiritual one. Which means having a little faith over monetary loss/fear created from last month. April has potential for a lot of work/progress. It’s the astrological new year and the true beginning of your birthing process. I’m getting the sense that the energy is going to be quite intense; much like a hawk diving in on a target. Laser focus, clarity, and action with a lean on relationships/projects. It will be a rapid builder month. As a last thought, I want to remind you all that work/progress is individually defined, which is why the information here is so vague. We will all be building and progressing in unique ways that parallel our own realities, and I would be excited to create a place to share what we are learning with each other this month.”
Just like the Eagle, we are being given the chance to have a detailed and clear look at where we can hunt and eradicate things that no longer align with where we are flying. Below is a more detailed, intuitive reading about how that might look over the course of April so that you don’t waste time focusing on things that are not ultimately bringing you to your central and authentic Self.
The energy of the month will be focused on our desire to clear the fog from our mind and find a direction that points us on a path that compliments all the soul growth we have done. The search for an aligned situation will be the main desired goal, while we address our inner pessimism and self confidence as the obstacles to our greatest desires. This month comes with a warning sign against resignation and giving up. A great starting point for this month is to show up for yourself where you feel like things will never change or get better, and soothe some of those thoughts. Look at the theme of your pessimism instead of the people or experiences that inspired it. This is an action that gives your power back to you and shows you that YOU are the creator of your reality and if you want it to change, then YOU need to do the work.
Something to release: The anxiety in your romantic life or a prominent relationship and the belief that you will never obtain a happy life as a singular flow of energies. This affects your spirit’s ability to manifest the very thing you desire, and closes doors, that if opened, would delight you beyond measure. This is a great time to count your blessings and see how truly beautiful your life is in its own unique and purposeful way NOW. Deepening your connection and relationship with the spiritual realm will be a source of great inspiration, and understand that there is a lot going on behind the scenes as you are being prepared for some wonderful gifts and soul connections.
What needs to be re-evaluated: Where you have become careless and narrow minded in your dealings. I’d say selfish here but I don’t like to feed into the false definition of that expression at this time. The joker in its shadow expression does things without thinking, without being aware of the consequences, and leaps into projects and relationships with little thought of how the experience may affect him later. If there is an area in your life where you feel overly eager or impatient (hi Aries shadow vibes), have a moment before taking action and maybe save yourself some trouble or disappointment later on. Action with immature consideration will almost always foil your plans in the long run, especially when your motivator is emotionally unstable. Remember the Ripple Effect or even the Butterfly Effect here.
Something that’s been neglected: How the wounds from “family” quarrels have influenced your expression and ability to trust that the Cosmos will bring you joy and what you desire. This isn’t a higher power thing, but a YOU thing that you are responsible for addressing if you ever hope to heal this long lasting depression over the matters you can’t seem to manifest. I am reminded to tell you that with Chiron in Aries and Uranus in Taurus, it would be helpful to see where these transit your natal chart. It will likely illuminate and pinpoint exactly where you’re holding yourself back. If you need help, please shoot me a message!
Something to look forward to: the chance to successfully heal your heart in matters of romantic wounds, familial issues, or professional obstacles. Due to your ambition and true desire to improve your life through positive vibrational evolution, you have every opportunity to begin the journey to that desired relationship, being recognized for your work, or mending family connections (within yourself, at least). Remember that your thoughts will be rapidly manifesting your reality this month and when you feel like you’re veering off course, seek spiritual guidance, whatever that means to you, and the higher energies will respond and aid you in your transformation.
Something to focus on healing: Where you create anxiety and stress to the point of health problems. In relationships, this could be addressing an emotionally unhealthy experience. In career, where you feel unstable, exhausted, or addressing the emotions of losing a job. It’s vital that you check in on your health if you are deep in these themes (especially for a prolonged time) as an attacked nervous system can lead to undetected, or hard to explain issues in your physical and mental bodies.
Questions you can ask yourself to help redirect intensely damaging emotions:
Where do you feel robbed of happiness and blaming someone else as the source?
When was the last time you slowed down and participated in gratitude for simple beauties in your life?
Are you prepared and open for any outcome?
How can you make things easier for yourself?
Where has an unpredicted event in your life caused you to believe you are postponed in having happiness and abundance?
If you can take responsibility for your part in your current situation as Master Manifestor, the chance to rapidly change your life will be at your fingertips. But you have to be willing to do the soul work for movement to be made. This year the Cosmos took off the gloves and there’s no pussy footing around. You’re in or you’re out, and it’s nothing personal. We as humans are in a time of rapid shifts and if you aren’t willing to keep up then you will have to be left where you are standing still. And who wants to miss out on all the divine adventure?!