Last month truly felt like a birthing process, including that foggy and unclear understanding of your world as you emerge from the womb of transformation. The miracle of creation is always mysterious and I think a lot of last month was most progressive in bringing up sub/unconscious beliefs, habits, and wounds in terms of how we relate to the world. Which makes for a confusing and strange time for a person. I still can’t explain exactly what went on in the first half of the month, though I know I spent a lot of time questioning exactly who I wanted to be, as I didn’t feel quite like the person I’d “always been” when it came to interacting and connecting.
I used to be so outgoing and social, thanks to a career in customer service. I remember when I started that path, I just faked being social when really I was a very shy person growing up. At some point last month, I realized that I was a blend of so many selves it was time to reform the way I was choosing to interact (or not) with reality. Long story short, my current, pretty isolated lifestyle has made me less needy for social acceptance, less needy for constant connection. I have grown to value my few cherished friendships, without feeling robbed of a social circle. And at the same time, my isolation has shown me to cultivate the relationships I do have; from friends to family to my kids. Who have made me more patient, compassionate and unbiased in the way I perceive the world. Nothing is more humbling than looking a child in the eye and apologizing for messing up. I truly do not think I could have arrived at this place of intuitive foresight without first becoming a mother.
So you can see how March was about realizing who you are Now and April was about how you chose to take this new you and interact with those around you. This creates an entirely new atmosphere for you to discover as perceptions, expressions, and experiences are different from before. It’s been a very subtle process of inner work for me as I step into my newest aspect as a claircognizant. I look around now and, truly, over the last few weeks, so much has changed. The people who have come into my life, the exchanges, the opportunities, the clarity on how this can all unfold for me. What about you? How is your new world coming to light?
Below I will review the singular card for May from the annual spread:
We shall be pulling up our anchors and how this affects you will differentiate broadly. From a higher view, this movement is of a positive nature, but what inspires the initial spark of action may come from a breach of trust or the revealing of a hard truth. The anxiety/upset it causes will be the source of inspiration to tackle the issues it dredges up (think an anchor covered in underwater plant life). Have heart that whatever emotional upsets this causes will be short lived and will not hinder your journey too long. As I said, this month has a moving vibration to it that is hard to decipher as I feel each of us will utilize it differently. This month also feels heavily karmic, and will play out for you according to your current vibration (high or low). Either way these uprootings are encouraging you to move into heart based ventures. Whether that brings stormy seas or a sunny shore is up to Karma (or what you’ve previously sent out for manifestation). Intuitively, I’m going to note that whatever planets are retrograding during this time will be good guidance towards your experience.
Simply: Change is inevitable, especially in people. Diplomacy and compassion may be your best tools this month.
Below is the in depth reading for May:
Theme: All things to do with wealth, finances, and how you choose to manifest your desires into your reality. Understanding what truly satisfies your soul, and promoting actions that support obtaining fulfillment. Also karmic reception, and reaping the outcomes of your work from the previous months. Ultimately, wealth (not just money) comes from the knowledge obtained, and whether you find yourself losing or gaining finances (literally or energetically) is not so much the important part, as it is to receive the message that comes with it.
Release: Your need for approval and the aloofness that is born out of self protection or self interest when you don’t get it. This is a month to truly let yourself shine in all your glory, whatever that looks like. You may already feel ready to do this if you’ve been following along this year. This card always reminds me of Freya, who, whenever I’ve worked with her, is kind of the gateway greeter. She’s happy to usher you into the world of authentic expression and share with you the way of accepting and embracing yourself in the world around you. Look at her; sexy as hell, powerful enchantress, war and death comrade, tearful and lonely bride. But never once is she apologetic. Never once does she water down her expressions for the sake of others. The suits on this card indicate a bond that’s unbreakable. It’s time to shed the memories of old break ups and reincorporate all your selves into a whole. The rippling effect of embracing and expressing ALL of you will shine in the relationships that come to you as a result.
Re–evaluate: The belief that you can’t negotiate and manifest your highest dreams. That you can’t get what you want and also obtain satisfaction from the important people in your life; rethink the idea that it’s one or the other. If you’re reading this, know that it came to you to tell you in this moment that you are so close and the mental power you have is beyond a capacity you can currently compute, but can FEEL, as you read these very words. The question is how you choose to use it. Create reasons that break down your dreams and make obstacles to prevent them? Or open the way, fire ablaze, and transform your life into the very things you want to feel and experience?
Neglected: where you have become stagnant due to depression and loneliness. Where your habit of thinking the worst has actually kept you from the happiness you long for. This is in the subject of connection and relationships. When we don’t feel connected, truly connected, our psyche breaks down and really works against our ideals. We wander far from our path and our joy. We don’t seek things with meaning, or connect to nature. We become trapped by our own pain, and debilitated in the magic of creating. Make sure this month you tend to these areas of your life and reach out, it’s not the time for hopelessness and isolation. You are building new surroundings and it can’t be done without some sort of meaningful connection.
Look forward to: Commitment to friendships and relationships of all kinds. It will be a wonderful months for grounding into the authentic tribes you established last month, and really cultivating an exchange of energy and ideas and love. This card obviously does not exclude the chance to experience the spark of new love matches, either. Whoever is in your life this month, whether continued or new will all represent some form of karmic return for previous month manifestations and requests. Take the time to experience these interactions and really sink into them, and allow yourself to understand the core value. There is the potential to unwrap many gifts from these soul contracts.
Focus on healing: anxiety caused by mistrust of people and/or the slow process of building your new world. In modern society, we have become so accustomed to instant gratification that having to wait really does inspire true anxiety to some. It’s hard not to fixate on the end goal, turning in a hamster wheel and spinning wild deceptions waiting to obtain success in your endeavors. But the soul has no clock, and knows there’s a natural process to manifestation. Just like the mouse, it’s time to focus on truly transforming impatience into resourcefulness, and anxiety into practicality. We are at a turning point in the year where we really begin to see how our path can unfold with a little consistency and planning.
Abundance is brought through the openness of not having expectations about the delivery. It’s empowering to sit back and realize how your perception of time works against you. Just because a dream didn’t manifest the first time you put your all into it, doesn’t mean it’s destined to never come. For those of you who understand or have learned this, May should be full of wonderful experiences that confirm your ability to welcome wealth in all of its forms. If you have not, addressing and healing where past missteps and betrayals and hurts have broken your power to manifest will help clear what’s blocking you from the wealth knocking on your door.
Remember that loss can be a precursor to gains, and painful endings can be the beginning of something beautiful. You are not who you once were, and thus the world you once knew is no longer as it was. But it does not mean your life is without beauty in this clean slate. Create vision, receive experiences, embrace growth, no matter how slow it is.