Balancing Fire and Water: Incorporating Yourself into the Collective


Think about what’s happened in your personal reality since last July. I can bet there’s quite a bit of drama, adventure, transformation, and change. All of which came with its own unique lessons. Got em? Good. Hold those in the palm of your hand while we take a slight detour.

Awhile ago, I had a great discussion with one of my best friends about the individual vs. the collective. And typical of our conversations, it involved animals. We discussed the importance of the individual (my love of wolf spirit) and what is lost without the reliance of the group (herd animals). It had to have been a few months ago. I understood her point and what she was getting at. She is one of the most loving people I’ve ever known and seems to have an endless well of compassion for the people she loves. It’s something I admire about her. I’ve always been so grateful for her and the example she sets. But what I don’t remember talking about was the incorporation of the individual into the pack (again, let’s go back to wolves). We saw the value in each as a separate. We understood the need and importance to know that you can stand on your own, and that you know your own value and strength. We discussed the security and strength within a group or family and the importance of the cohabitation of relying on those relationships.

The wolf can do both, be the individual and be the pack. Each individual has an important role in creating a collective that operates on a skillful and willing level.

We are always encouraged to stand out in the crowd, and not lose ourselves to the line (or vice versa). I just rarely find any inspiration to incorporate yourself in the crowd as a key component to the whole. Start on the microcosm of that. Friends? Family? What do you have to offer in the units you love most? How can you take your passion and love and share it for the betterment of those around you? Feed your soul. Feed the collective’s soul.

2017 has made it abundantly clear that the time to be passive in your life and the world around you is over. Don’t know where to start? Start with yourself. What are your individual assets? What are you naturally good at? What do you love most about yourself? What do you love doing? Write them down on paper and take a good look at them.

Look at your immediate collective. In a relationship? Which family members (if not all of them) do you gravitate towards? What friends are on your supporting/supported list? Got them? Now, how can they benefit from what you have to offer and how can you benefit from them? This is not a trade in services. I’m simply suggesting an exercise in expression. How are you important in those packs at your essence level? Expand outwards further still; coworkers, community, etc. You are important.

Here’s the last part. Take some time to process and prepare before you act. Remember those little gems you’ve accumulated since last July, the ones I told you to hold in the palm of your hand? Let’s have a look. What have you learned about the dynamic of relationships since last July? Where have you grown and expanded your knowledge and experience? What common themes from then are current now? This may be a clue to your adventure ahead.

Last July I walked away from a long term relationship because I sought something a little less traditional (circa 1950s). I wanted to experience a stronger support system and share a common dream. I did not feel as though that timeline was creating an experience I desired. I envisioned to expand my horizons, to gain some experience outside of a stagnant pattern (which became an integral part of a seven year cycle I’ll go into another time). I desired the experience of constant change, and the idea of excitement that comes with it. I needed my brain to be constantly stimulated. I needed to feel supported in my creative self. I was intending to go on romanticizing the lone wolf (I’m giggling at July 2016 me, knowing now where I’ve ended up).  What I was doing was healing the wounds on my individual being while searching for a new pack.

To spare you of the minute details, I did a lot of wandering. I adventured to places I’d never have gone before. I ran with a lot of the wrong packs. However, every experience was what I needed in that moment to help me get where I am now. I needed to become wiser from mistakes, stronger from betrayals, and more solid in my desires by chasing the wrong trails. I carry those gems with me now, some of them prettier than others. However, I treasure all of them equally, as individuals. Each was important in guiding me to where I am now. And as a whole, they  are shaping me into someone I am deeply connected to. I can stand between the worlds that I am weaving and understand the importance I have in each of them. I understand that I’ve been given all that I’ve asked for, but not in the way I had expected. Let me tell you, I could not be more grateful for that.

No two days of mine are the same. I get to use my artistic passions to expand the creativity in minds both small and large. The adventures are never ending both physically and mentally. Unpredictable bed times are my quiet salvation between the bustle of the day and late night conversations are the very best dessert. My big heart is appreciated every day by the people that surround me, and I feel loved for who I am.

I am supported, I am important, and I am me.


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